Du Yu Speek Inglish? Dis Shud Be Yusful Fo Yu!

Kara Bayan di balkoni Basaksehir, Istanbul


Assalamualaikum dan Salam Ceria,

Kara Bayan nak citer sikit. Ni article Puan T terima beberapa tahun dulu. Simpan dalam email. Memang lawak. Kalau kome nak tau apa yg lawak (tapi mungkin tak lawak), kome kena baca sampai abis. Jangan skip...nanti tak nampak beza.

European English:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Meh layan roti dan telur goreng ala Kampong Deredebi.
Rindu pulak teman dengan roti bakor guna dapur kayu Turki atau soba. Ni resepi Kak Emine, masak untuk teman. Masa tu kami tingge berdua-duaan jer.

Walaupun kami ni tak buleh berkomunikasi secara total, tak bermakna kami tak buleh berinteraksi dengan baik. Dengan vokab yg berjumlah tak lebih 100 perkataan, buleh gak teman berlabun dengan kakak teman ni - umpama ayam belanda dengan ayam kampong.
Kalau ayam dengan itik tu kira tak tau langsung biji butirnya!

"Bugun biz yemeg yumurta, patates ve ekmek!" kata teman dlm bahasa Turki yg amat, yaa amat basic! (Nahu takde!)

"Tamam!" kata Kak Emine.

Kome buleh teka apa teman cakap tu? Sapa buleh agak, meh bagi translation. Yang pertama betoi dapat hadiah dari Turki...hua hua huaaarrr! (ketawa tanpa perikemanusiaan!).



Semalam teman jamu Tapas kan?
Haa tengok entry semalam yek.
Ni lagi satu tapas yang teman buat masa jamu lagi sorang kawan. Tapas yg sihat sebab ada hazelnut dari Kg Deredebi; ada jugak marmalade buah ceri, jem buah plum; dan roti tu di topup dengan sucuk dan keju.
Meh kome jamu mater...